Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I'm easing myself slowly, oh so slowly, back into training and it's amazing the difference that it has made to my outlook. Just getting my body moving is calming my mind. It's like I've been away and am now coming back into myself. It's a huge relief but it has made me aware that I rely far too heavily on my training as a source of confidence and as a coping mechanism.

The fact is that stressful things will happen anyway and I need to have a bit more in my response arsenal than simply running, cycling, swimming and strength training. There are mental reminders that I need and physical things that I can do but most of all I need to remember that there are options!

I think it's easy to get bogged down in the day to day stuff you have to do, sometimes to the point where you forget what the things you actually enjoy are. This means any chill out time you get to yourself is often wasted and the stress mounts. There are lots of things which I enjoy and I'm trying to remind myself of that. During hard times, I withdraw and end up as a hard little ball of unfeelingness, a little stone, a kernel which is part of me but not the full story. It takes work to reawaken the rest, I forget that I am capable of feeling more, of being more. The pathways back to yourself are not always complex, momentum can be sparked by the smallest of things; a book, a film, making something, just being with people. I won't lie, I have had an absolutely foul week but in amongst it all, I have gathered some things to me which will help me in the next few days:

Reading Bath-time reading is The Catcher in the Rye. All other reading has been supplied in digital format by the lovely and generous Taff-man. Thank you sweetie :)

Watching I treated myself to a Hitchcock boxset. I still have some Twin Peaks to watch and there has been some proper anime geekage with the boy. I have to confess also to the watching of cheesy horror flicks! Shamed as I am to admit it, I have also been watching far too many re-runs of America's Next Top Model. It's my guilty secret.

Doing I've been cooking up a storm. We're mildly obsessed with Italian and Spanish food at the moment so there has been paella and a whole lot of tapas, gnocchi, focaccia and pasta as far as the eye can see. Everything features either olives (sorry Neil!), chorizo or both. I have a huge appetite at the moment but only for savoury things and generally, the hotter the better. We had Mexican food for dinner tonight at Pancho Villas and I scoffed all the stuffed jalapenos. They were lovely. Mind you, our very non-trad Easter meal will be chickpea curry - love it! I've also been getting stuck back into some more crafty/artistic endeavours.

The head stuff I guess this is where I often get stuck. I have a tendency to blame myself when things go wrong but this week has opened my eyes a bit. There has been a difficult situation going on for a while now and the longer it went on, the more worthless I felt. This week, I brought it to a close completely. I was tolerating things which made me feel horrendous simply because I was too conscious of not wanting to give offence, of wanting to remain civil, of trying to make things easier for everyone. In the end, it wasn't worth the effort and in all these months spent feeling progressively worse about myself what it comes down to is that at worst, I am guilty of poor judgement and naivety. The older I get, the more straightforwardly I present myself - this is me, some bits are kind of crappy and I have my faults but overall, I'm a decent person. It simply didn't occur to me that someone could get to my age and have such a lack of insight about themselves and their behaviour. Surely the rest of us gave up blaming the world for our own faults by the time we left our teens? Ultimately though, freeing myself from this situation has left me feeling better than I have in months.

It's also given me the conviction that I need to stay single (and celibate) for the near future. I want to get my fitness back on track, focus on getting my nutrition qualification and a million other things. This means complicated relationship nonsense has to go on the back burner for a while. Priorities!

Friends

I have been faffing about writing things and deleting them for days. I'm loathe to post something entirely miserable but I have been feeling very out of sorts. I'm somewhat adrift without my training because, of course, it is more than just running/cycling/swimming/weight training. It's my stress relief and my therapy, it's what keeps me going and gives me a focus. My body no longer feels like my own but, on the plus side, I feel like I am properly on the road to recovery now. I still have a lot of fatigue but my skin has lost that grey tinge and I'm slowly gaining some weight back. That's started to normalise things for me a little and my mood has definitely started to pick up again. I find myself making plans for later in the season and thinking ahead. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't worried about the amount of fitness I've lost - no conditioning whatsoever, muscle loss, zero cardio capability! I'm going to be running on sheer grit and determination till I get back into shape.

Physical stuff aside, my confidence has taken a hell of a knock. I guess I hadn't realised how much of my self-esteem was tied up in being "strong". Worse, I worry that this affects how other people view me. I don't want to be seen as weak. It has not been helped by a couple of friends who have really not been there for me at all. It saddened me and made me question myself at a time when I was already very much in doubt. That said, most people have been beyond fabulous looking out for me and helping out where they can and I've been really touched by that. Alas, it does make the fair weather friends look even worse in comparison. I suspect that ultimately it says a lot more about them than it does about me but, hard as I am on myself, my instinct is to see it as poor judgement on my behalf. Like I'm a fool for thinking they were ever going to be capable of better. I suspect the reality is that they are just full of it! Whatever the case is, it's up to me how I respond to it and how I deal with it. I am only responsible for my own actions and I can only interact with people in a way that feels genuine to me. I want nothing more to do with people who only want to know me when I'm up and strong and oozing positivity. There will always be ups and downs and if everything happens to be falling apart, I'm not going to lie and say I feel fabulous just to save someone else a moment of discomfort, especially when it generally takes very little to make me feel better. A text, a hug, a crap joke, a distraction - the work of seconds but worth a whole lot more to me.

It's also made me think more about how I treat other people. I have a tendency to shut myself away when things get a bit tough. My best friend had a very frank conversation with me about this very thing! There was lots of crying and hugging ... and more crying.
Logically I know that the unknown is scarier and induces more anxiety than knowing what you are dealing with, no matter how crappy that may be. I didn't have enough insight to apply it to my own strategies though. I have a tendency to batten down the hatches and then reappear when I'm feeling better. Somehow it did not occur to me wonder what everyone else is left thinking when I suddenly drop off the radar. I'm kind of embarassed at how short-sighted I've been there but I'm lucky that Eilidh had the balls to discuss it with me. I guess what I thought of as keeping my head down looks, from the other side, very much like me shutting people out. So I have spent a bit of time writing a few letters and emails to friends, getting back in touch with people who I may have shut out. It's strange and it's probably one of the more awkward and scary tasks I have assigned myself but I do feel better for it. I probably sound like a 12-Stepper but there's definitely something worthwhile about taking responsibility for yourself, about owning your own shit. We don't always behave impeccably and I don't believe we have to. What I do believe is that we should act with honesty and compassion, with integrity and empathy as far as we are able. You don't have to be perfect ... but you do need to have the balls to admit when you're wrong, to be open to others' opinions and to apologise when you cock things up. I've said a couple of apologies this week and in doing so, have let go of a whole load of negative crap that was cluttering up my head. I still have work to do (as always) but it's a relief to be moving forward rather than staying mired in the past.

If nothing else, it's keeping me occupied till training resumes :)

A Bump in the Road

I've been searching for a quote to start this entry. Lots of them came to mind focusing on things like dealing with the unexpected, courage under duress, all that kind of jazz. Ultimately though, it comes down to something simpler, this from Aesop:

Slow and steady wins the race

That is what I have to bear in mind over the coming weeks.

Regular readers will know what my plans were for this year and what events I was training for. It has all been thrown into disarray by a serious bout of illness. I am now (finally!) back resting at home but I will have a long road back to regain my previous levels of fitness. I am not allowed to train at all for at least another two weeks and truthfully, I am okay with that. I have constant fatigue and I know that right now, I'm not capable of any kind of exertion. Getting dressed would be a big ask, actually moving at speed an impossibility! The only tasks I have assigned myself for the immediate future are a) getting as much rest as I can and b) putting back on the weight I've lost while ill. I'm down to 49kg and at 5ft 7, that is not a good look. I need to recharge and rebuild. I'm making no decisions yet about the events I've entered. I'll need to just wait and see how I progress.

I am not very good at being patient with myself but I am lucky enough to have plenty of friends who have no problem telling me when I'm being ridiculous and trying to get ahead of myself. For once in my life, I should probably just sit my ass down and take the telling (and let them make the most of it because it will all come to an abrupt end as soon as I'm better!)

I want to say thank you for the support that I've received. I am not a good patient and truthfully, this whole experience has shaken me quite badly. It's not that I'm exactly embarassed about what's happened but it doesn't sit very comfortably with me. Being weak and having to lean on other people is hard and my instinct is just to keep my head down and hide away so I don't have to deal with it. So thank you to those who were unwilling to put up with my avoidant BS and continued to reach out and support me. It means a lot and I appreciate it very much indeed. But you do know that you will be repaid by my hectoring you into doing horrible challenges as soon as I'm better, right?

Reboot

There has been no running whatsoever since I aborted Wednesday's LSR attempt at mile 6. I had 14 on the schedule but even I can recognise when carrying on is pure folly. So I have rested ... in my own fashion! I've racked up a double digit week timewise on the bike for the first time in a mighty long time. I will confess that time and weather constraints mean that probably 5 hours of that was indoor cycling. For the rest of that time, I freed my bike from the turbo and made the most of the frost free conditions. I had a child free weekend (thank you Scout camp) so I even managed a nice ride out to Loch Lomond. This one: http://www.sustrans.org.uk/assets/files/leaflets/CLYDE%20LOCH%20LOMOND%202004.pdf

There aren't many nicer places to stop and have your flapjack and chocolate milk.

It's a decent enough route - dedicated cycle paths all the way from the city centre except for a short stretch when you pass through Dumbarton - and just gets prettier the further you go. From the grimness of Clyde-side through to the splendour of Loch and Ben Lomond. It looks a little something like this (not my pic - my hands were too numb to take photos!)

There's a stunning pic of it here too but I can't link. It's beautiful! Go check it out. http://www.flickriver.com/groups/1184068@N23/pool/interesting/

It's my longest ride outside in quite some time and although I have been spinning and turbo training all winter, I can feel the effects of a proper ride. DOMS in everything from my calves to my glutes, my core to my triceps (I do hills like Djamolidine Abdoujaparov did sprints - Tashkent Terrier coming through, give me a wide berth!) I love a bit of DOMS so no complaints there but it does make me wonder slightly about the different impact of indoor vs outdoor training. Outdoor is clearly better for a multitude of reasons - how many indoor races do I do? how much better does it feel to get a daily dose of vitamin D? - but time-wise, indoors makes a lot of sense. I can't leave my child home alone for an hour while I nip out on the bike but I can certainly spend an hour or so on the turbo once he's in bed. It made me wonder if I should be upping the intensity of my indoor sessions, or at least trying to replicate an outdoor ride more accurately. For me turbo sessions are fairly well regulated: timed intervals or  pyramid sessions working through the gears. Perhaps I should employ a more casual sort of fartlek principle? Hills outside aren't regulated after all and if you come across one, well you just have to get up the damn thing whatever it takes.

I have also dedicated more time to yoga this week (clearly I needed it - talk about tight!) and I have recommitted to my strength regime. I will admit that I had scaled my strength training back. I have several disciplines to master and many miles and hills to conquer - extra weight (be it muscle or fat) is not particularly welcome at this point. But truthfully, I feel like I'm being unfaithful to myself if I don't do it. I just don't feel like me. Putting in more miles on the bike has made my legs more muscular again and that is a truly welcome return to form. Regardless of what size I am, softness is just not me (and I don't care if that's what guys like - I do not). I need my muscles. When I have done the endurance thing to death, I fully intend to compete as a figure athlete. Genetically, I am not gifted with the ability to run fast or to go long distances. Anything I achieve there is purely due to slog and sweat. Figure training however - I am the right build, I have good proportions and I don't find it difficult to put on muscle. In terms  of genetics, I am far better suited to that. However, it's one of the few physical arenas where age is not a disadvantage. There are frankly amazing female figure athletes all the way up to women in their sixties and seventies. One of the few areas where age is not a barrier to success. It can wait till I've dispatched some other business first. In the mean time, there is some serious work being done ... and it's boosted my mood by a good 50%. It's me. It's what I need to do. I will have my body back the way I want it and that will give me the confidence I need to do anything else.



Splish splash

A post about swimming!

I should preface this by saying that I actually really enjoyed today's pool session and I do love being in the water. I just get a bit frustrated sometimes. To me, slogging my guts out usually equals success (eventually) and with swimming, this is not yet the case.

I had a really useful session today. The pool was surprisingly quiet and, for once, I actually had someone with me to take a good look at what I'm doing. As ever, it was not quite what I think I'm doing. My left leg has a slightly different agenda to my right. This is not a surprise to me but it's something that I have to always bear in mind. If I'm swimming breast stroke, my left leg corkscrews horrendously. It's less pronounced in freestyle thankfully but that's the side which fatigues more quickly and it signals this with a nice bout of cramp in the foot. The only way I've found to ease this is to not allow myself to slack on the pool time and just keep plugging away. Let the cramp subside and get straight back at it ... and then make sure to not skip any pool sessions. Essentially it's a case of thrashing it into submission. That lessens the number of cramping episodes at least but I suspect the old left leg will always be a bit wayward!

Lately the trouble has been that of the three triathlon disciplines, if I'm short on time the swim session is the one that's liable to get cut. I can jump on the spinner at home or throw on some runners and just head out the door. Swimming requires more time, even just in terms of getting to a pool (and making sure there are lanes available - ggrrrrr!) and then getting changed. I have decided that missing the odd swim session is something that could be avoided with some better organisation on my part. So, this week, I start on a new improved training schedule!

I couldn't find a decent sized wall planner (who knew they'd be so hard to get hold of) so I have hijacked one my son got free with his Nintendo magazine. I may well be the only (would be) triathlete around with a Pokemon schedule pinned up on the wall but the important thing is that it's all there now in black and white (and red ... with pokeballs) so it will get done. I always find that I have better success sticking to things that I've written down by hand. I've had schedules on excel, things I've tapped into the calendar on mobile phone etc but the ones that stick are the ones where I've the old pen and paper approach. Forges stronger connections in the old brain I think. Let's hope so and there will be no more skiving the swim. To be honest, I am looking forward to better weather so I can get into my wetsuit and do a bit of open water swimming. In the mean time, I will have to put my grumpiness aside and carry on with the pool sessions though I have yet to completely suss out what times of day the pools are less full of idiots. It seems to be never.

A few days later ....

I wrote all that several days ago. Since then, it appears that my hip has decided to leave my body through the nearest exit (except there isn't one so it's just going to bust it's way out). Well, that's what it feels like. I am not a professional of course, so it's not an exact diagnosis ;) I can still swim and the bike feels pretty much okay but, for the time being, running is out. I could pretend that I'm okay with this but I'm not, I'm really not - I am royally pissed off. Running is cathartic in a way that nothing else is and with everything that's going on right now, I need that outlet. Still, I am trying to be sensible because I want this sorted as soon as possible and doing what I'm really tempted to do (i.e. run through it) would cause far more problems further down the line. I need to borrow some patience from somewhere.

My boy will be away all weekend at the Scout's extreme winter camp so, with a weekend all to myself, I had big training plans in mind. I even turned down a date for Friday night because I wanted to be bright eyed and bushy tailed on Saturday. Okay, that was not the only reason but it was a factor ... as was just not being arsed (who says romance is dead?) I truly have no idea what I will do instead ... but I'm guessing it won't involve housework! The weather is going to be too awful for going out on the bike. Maybe I'll stick on some super-padded shorts and see if I can turbo my way through a film trilogy (though perhaps not the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings)

Already?!

I wasn't planning on another post just yet but  ...

Today I ran over thirteen miles. In the grand scheme of things, that's no big deal ... except that it's by far the furthest I've run in quite a some time and  I really enjoyed it. For all that I may spend a bit of time on a running forum, my running itself is really sporadic. Training-wise there are other things which I would rather do and my runs get shoe-horned in around that. That allows me to keep up a fairly decent running base when there are no upcoming races but lately, that's been about it.

Of course, I'm well aware that I need to get a few miles in my legs (okay, more than a few!) so I decided a couple of days ago that I would head out for a nice LSR today. My tactic when aiming for distance has always been to choose a new route. I find running the same routes frequently can be tough mentally. My usual 5K route for example; I know that, without fail, I will feel like walking before I've got halfway. I don't but that's the mental battle I'm fighting most of the way. With an unknown route, I won't know when the hard parts are coming and I don't know if there are any bits which may defeat me. Since I don't know, I rather optimistically assume that I can do it and, what do you know, I can. In retrospect, it's probably just as well that I hadn't checked today's route out in advance ... or I would have noticed that the first seven miles were all uphill. Hey ho.

As well as getting the miles in, another thing that I really need to work on is taking fuel on board during the run. It's not something I've ever really done. I experimented with a sports drink once on a training run before a half marathon race. All I got for my trouble was instant heartburn and a visit from my old mate Jimmy Smits (you do the rhyme). I had porridge with a banana in the morning and turned up for the race with a bottle of water and that did me fine. I had a small moment of doubt when I saw almost everyone else (i.e. everyone except the bloke standing having a fag and the guy who was running in jeans and converse baseball boots) armed to the teeth with gels. Kind of like the sports nutrition version of this:

... without the gun (or the apparent stick in the ass).

I think if you eat well as a rule and make sure of your carb intake in the couple of days before the race, there's no need for added extras during a half. Forty miles on the other hand? That will require fuelling. Since it's something I know I may struggle with, I'm introducing it as early as I can to maximise my chances of getting used to it. I have (as ever) been doing my research and a popular food item for ultras is Battenburg cake which just happens to be one of my most adored things ever to shove in my mouth. I love it!

There's something about the sponge and the squares and the colours and the marzipan - love it!!! It has been one of my favourites since I was a little girl so I'm taking this as a sign that me and ultras are made for each other.

In the realm of getting used to things, the final component of today's run was that I wore my back pack. It's not uncomfortable by any means but it's also not something I'd choose to wear if I thought I didn't have to. It did allow me to be very prepared however. I packed: two mini Dairy Milks, a flapjack and a banana, my phone, an MP3 player, a spare pair of gloves, an extra jacket, some money and my travel pass. I had no idea where exactly I would end up so I thought I might end up getting a bus back home (which I did). Strangely, no one sat next to me as I sat there in my soaking wet, sweaty clothes with salt crusting my face, blue-lipped, scoffing my banana and glugging chocolate milk. I needed the jacket and gloves because I get horribly, horribly cold after any run over ten miles. I did not need the MP3 player. Sometimes I train with music, today I was happy enough to just let my mind wander and I had plenty of time to think. I feel like I processed a whole lot of stuff that's been preying on my mind this week.

I also thought a lot about various people that I feel connected to and while I'm not a deeply spiritual person as such, there was a long period during the run where I just felt really fortunate to be out there, to have a body that is capable of feats of endurance, to be moving in a way that feels absolutely right and to know that I am lucky enough to have people in my life who get what that feels like and don't disapprove of my nuttiness. In short, my mind stilled ... and I was content.

I almost want to leave it there but I have more to say. Damn, there goes my big poetic finish! One of the other things I was doing during the run was visualising myself in the races I'm entering this year. Positive visualisation! I've been doing this on the bike as well (can't seem to do it in the pool ... yet). I also realised that while I think I'm merely urging myself on in my head, given the strange looks I was getting it would appear that I actually do talk to myself out loud. That might not be quite so bad were it not for the fact that I refer to myself by a nickname - bye bye dignity!

I'm also a bit clearer on what other strength and conditioning work I want to maintain while I'm training for this year's races. I am cutting my strength training to mainly bodyweight exercises and one free weights session a week and I'll also be making sure that I don't shirk my core work. As I started to tire today, I noticed a couple of areas of weakness (will be interesting to see how my adductors feel in the morning!) but nothing drastic. Anyway, it was a positive sort of day and I feel a bit better about the upcoming season ... and about things in general.

Shoring it up

Let's try again, shall we, and hope that the craptastic weather doesn't take out the power supply this time! I spent ages working on the most awesome post last night but it was cruelly snatched away and taken to the land of "shoulda saved sooner dumbass" so I bring you this offering instead.

There is a lot going on right now. It feels like someone's taken the contents of my head and given them a good shake around like a snow globe. When it settles, it'll be dandy but in the meantime chaos ensues! It's not helped by an astonishing number of petty little disasters happening on a daily basis - things (all manner of things) breaking, punctures, being late, sleeping poorly, ridiculous nose bleeds, forgetting stuff, unexpected expenses, niggly injuries. All very little things but there's always that moment when it starts to feel like the universe is waging a war of attrition against you. For the record, I don't think it is but I certainly feel like I could do with a holiday ... and it's still only January!


“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom"

That quote is from Viktor Frankl, the author of Man's Search For Meaning. It sums up some of the things I've been thinking about lately. I've been doing a whole lot of reading, a lot of it about sports pyschology. Physical training is by it's nature tangible and I've got a handle on that - the way I train my body is usually decent preparation for any given event. What I do not yet have a good grasp of is the mental side of competing. I have things that I say in my head to urge myself on in training, I know how to push myself. What I don't yet know is how my mind will respond to new race events, all of which this year have ever increasing numbers of variables at play. I quoted Frankl because the idea that we can choose our response appeals to me. While I am undoubtedly a thoughtful creature and given to ruminating, I am also impulsive, prone to tantrums and following gut instincts which regularly get me into trouble. If I get into difficulties in a race, I don't currently know which side of me will prevail - I might pull myself together and overcome but I just as easily might sit myself down at the side of the road and cry or perhaps throw all my toys out of the pram. There is value in keeping a cool head. The best example I can think of here is Chrissie Wellington; to get a puncture, cock up with your CO2 and keep it together enough to fix things and still go on to win the race? That is impressive and it's an attitude which I think is worth trying to emulate. So, in addition to the physical training, I will be continuing with my reading and giving the mental side of things a little more respect. I don't imagine that I will ever win a race (outside of school sports days) but I do need to come out of it feeling that I did my best. We're talking self respect here (though if glory does happen to come my way, I won't say no). Aside from that, I do really enjoy reading about sports psychology ... and so, the pile of books by the bed continues to grow!

Soon to be joining the pile is this little beauty which I have on pre-order:

Of course I want to read it but it was also part of a (very minor, honestly) online splurge. That was step one in my five point stress-reduction plan - to get myself a little treat.

Step two: some of the things which are currently troubling me are outwith my hands, so I'm going to go right ahead and ignore them. I'm not advocating avoidance as a life tactic though so I will be trying to address the ones that I can perhaps do something with. Sleep deprivation is my main issue I think. I am constantly tired, my training is suffering, as is my recovery and my appetite and I'm starting to feel at odds with myself and the rest of the whole world. It's no good and the effects are cumulative so it needs dealing with sooner rather than later. To this end, I am going to give ZMA a try. It can't hurt. Most of my research on it has turned up very positive responses both as an aid to sleep and in terms of helping muscle recovery. I found a few cases which showed no response to it and really quite a large number of people who reported extremely vivid and highly sexualised dreams while using ZMA. As side effects go, I have zero problem with this - if I'm dreaming, I'm sleeping and dream sex is better than no sex whatsoever ;)

Step three: keep moving forward. I have to confess while things are very hectic right now, it is mostly my doing. I have my big mega goal in mind and in order to get there, I need to get on with a number of things. Impatient as I am, I have launched myself upon a few different things at once. I know from past experience that it only hurts to start with and once I get a bit of momentum going, I'll be fine. Until that point, I need to just grit my teeth and keep going. Eyes on the prize, as they say.

Step four: accepting opportunities. Putting my big plan into action is going to require a bit of financing so this means it's time to get saving. Like most of us, I don't often have a whole lot of spare cash to fling around so I've been having a think about ways to raise some extra cash. I'm good with my hands and quite a crafty sort (we're talking hand crafts, not cunning) and I used sell the things I made at craft fairs, via commission etc. I stopped doing so because a lot of the textile art I was selling at the time was very personal and I felt horribly exposed at craft fairs, sitting there while people looked and judged. However, I had been thinking about maybe going back to it. The money would be useful and the repetitive nature of hand crafts is very soothing and therapeutic when your head is in a jumble. As luck would have it, I got a phone call this morning offering me studio space (for free!) I have been on the waiting list for this studio literally for years. It's part of an art co-op and they have great links with a lot of the local galleries so it would be stupid to say no, especially when I had been toying with the idea anyway. I do feel like a bit of a fraud on this one (me, an artist?) but the offer was made via a committee decision so I guess I might have a smidge of talent. That, or I was up against some real losers ...

Step five: EAT!!!!! This is a priority at the moment. My appetite tends to go bye bye when I'm stressed. Partly I just don't feel hungry but I also just get really absent minded about it. Case in point, today I made dinner for the two of us. Only discovered when the timer went off that the food was not cooked because the oven has died. Went to stick it in the microwave instead, opened the door ... and discovered my lunch still in there. I had made it but not got around to eating it and I hadn't even noticed. I can't afford to be missing meals. Running on empty is not a useful thing. So even if I have to write all my meals down on my daily to do list, I will make sure I eat properly.

Keeping on top of small things like this is the best way for me to navigate the currently very choppy waters of my life. I will extend my craptastic metaphor a little further and say that I am hoping for a return to smoother sailing soon. In the mean time, I'll just keep pootling along and hope that my body co-operates with me (though I think it might be time to take the old girl in for an MOT).