I have to admit that I don't tend to celebrate my birthday. It doesn't excite me and it's of no great interest. The only thing that does always happen is pancakes for breakfast (with bacon and maple syrup) but I did that this morning. No way I'm getting up early enough on a Monday morning to make myself pancakes, birthday or not!
The only vague sense of excitement I have is that it's the start of a new training phase ... and I have plans :) I'm not ready to unleash them on the world just yet.
Really, all this milestone affords is a chance to take stock. I'm stronger, leaner and fitter than I was this time last year. I can swim better (yes, really), I have much better stamina on the bike (even my undercarriage is getting used to the whole ordeal) and my yoga has improved. I can do pull ups, quite a few of them, and I couldn't have done any at all this time last year. I completed the 3 x 100 press ups challenge ... and have no intention of ever repeating it! For all the years on the clock, the body is not too bad at all.
I'm also using it as a chance to try and put a lot of things behind me. The last few months have been horrible, just horrible in a myriad of ways and there's no escaping that fact. But I've done what I can with that mess and I feel that has helped - things aren't preying on my mind in the same way. There's a sense of letting go of the things that are outwith my control. I know my part in the proceedings: most of it can be filed under "sometimes bad things just happen," and the rest under "wow, some people are real assholes." Either way, a lot of it was a case of the wrong place at the wrong time. Until the past few days there has been a nagging sense of needing closure but actually, on reflection I'm already done with it. There's no need to write (much less send) the letter telling someone exactly what I think of their behaviour. I don't need to do it because I'm done with them. There will be no dramatic announcement, I'm just quietly going on my way and leaving them with their cowardice and their BS. They don't read this blog so it may take them a while to stop navel-gazing long enough to notice that they've lost a really good friend. C'est la vie.
Tomorrow, my 35 year old self will be up bright and early for swimming and spinning. I'll have my fingers crossed for decent weather so a certain (not so) young man can take me for a spin on his bike - we're heading for the hills, a bit of autumnal hiking and a nice cosy pub lunch. I do believe I'm also being taken out for dinner in the evening and I may well have a sneaky glass of bubbly. Will be giving the birthday cake a miss though!
I'll leave you with some pics of a younger me (apologies for the topless one - it's just how we rolled in the seventies!)
