Thursday 30 June 2011

Intensity and Variety

With the school holidays now well underway, I'm finding that I have to get a little bit more creative with my training. I simply don't have the usual amount of time to devote to my workouts. Quite apart from anything else this makes me cranky so I've been thinking about alternatives. It's not necessarily an easy thing for me - while most of my life is extremely haphazard, when it comes to training I am a stickler for routine! However, I can deal with change if I can convince myself that it was my choice. I happened to have today to myself so I chose to forego the usual Thursday activities and go for a nice run somewhere different. This is where I was:


Any guesses? This might give it away. The boat in the photo is called the Maid of the Loch:


I went up to Loch Lomond for a change of scenery. This is one of the (few) good things about living in Glasgow - you've got propery scenery just a short distance away :) Of course, I don't have time to be popping lochwards every day so I've been thinking about what I can actually do to ensure that I a) get a good workout each day but b) don't neglect child while doing so.

This is where intense workouts come in. These can be done in only 20 minutes but you will feel like you have most definitely worked. In terms of running, I go to the track and do 100m sprints (and I mean sprints). 10 x 100m with a walk back recovery. By rep four, you will hate yourself. By rep six, you will want to die. By the end of rep ten? You are a goddess ... in the form of a snivelling (possibly puking) sweaty heap at the end of the track. The last time I did this session, an older lady came up to speak to me at the end. Apparently she'd been watching me since about halfway through (though I hadn't noticed her as I was too busy hurting). I was slightly wary since I am noticably more muscular than your average woman and I very often get unkind comments about it but she couldn't have been sweeter. She said that she's often seen me out and about running round our neighbourhood and she thinks I'm "phenomenal". She completely made my day :) My other intense running workout is hill sprints. Find a big hill, run up it, jog down, do it again, and again, and again.

In terms of strength training, I like to use large compound movements in a circuit - squats, deadlifts etc. Coincidentally, I've been reading Nia Shanks blog lately and there's something there that I need to try - advanced burpees. Check her out: http://www.niashanks.com/blog/time-crunch-workouts

I have to confess that even though I do them, burpees are one of those exercises that I never fail to bitch and moan about. I think they do have value though. So they are on the agenda for tomorrow.

And now it's time for some relaxation. A nice pink glass of wine and some Fassbending dvd action :)

More on school holiday friendly workouts next time.

Tuesday 28 June 2011

Back

Things have been a bit hectic lately hence the lack of blogging that's been going on. I seem to have managed just about everything except that ... and the ironing. I have time for only one of these activities tonight. Wrinkled clothes it is then!

Gothenburg was fab. The hotel we stayed at was perfect for our needs: inexpensive, central, decent gym, pool and sauna and (fanfare) the best buffet breakfast in Sweden! I tend to approach a buffet in the manner of Shaggy and Scooby Doo. Over the course of two days my intake included cereal, seeded bread, two kinds of crisp bread, yoghurt, fruit, rosehip soup, cheese (soft and hard), smoked ham and turkey, sausages, bacon, meatballs, eggs, pickled cucumbers, strawberry marmalade, cakes, cookies, fruit juice, coffee and chocolate milk. I consider that a job well done! It was sufficient to fuel many hours of sightseeing including several boat trips, museums, islands and parks anyway.

I could definitely spend more time in Sweden. What's not to love? They have houses like this:


And idyllic islands like this:


And cake, there's lots of cake ... but no pics of that because my mouth is quicker than my camera :)


Tuesday 14 June 2011

The Birds

I slept very badly last night, to the point where it was just ridiculous. I had a nice relaxing bubble bath before bed which left me feeling nice and sleepy but as soon as I got between the sheets, bing! my eyes were wide open. So despite plans for a nice long run first thing this morning, I decided it would be more useful to sneak back to bed for an hour or so once my son had gone to school. So I did that and I did get some sleep. I know this because I had really disturbing dreams! It was one of those dreams where it takes a while to realise that you are still asleep and it's not real. Some folks say there's nothing more boring than hearing about other people's dreams. If so, look away now :)

In the dream, I heard noises in the kitchen but was too lazy to investigate (see how real this is already?) They weren't big noises like something catastrophic was happening, more scritching and scratching and rustling. I guess I assumed that a mouse had found his way in. Imagine my surprise then when I finally went out into the hall and there was a pigeon sitting there. Then, in the kitchen itself, there was a whole gang of them. One bird might have accidentally flown in but not a whole flock. I saw that they had in fact hatched in the space next to the washing machine (the horror, the horror). The mother was nowhere to be seen and I was now stuck with seven or eight pigeons milling about my kitchen. I did what I had to ... I legged it out the kitchen, closed the door firmly behind me and went back to bed.  Alas, I had forgotten the bold one in the hall. There's a gap under my bedroom door and I could see a little birdy shaped shadow beneath it. An inquisitive beak appeared round the door so I went over and prodded it back out again, only for it to reappear. Apparently proper action was needed to deal with curious pigeon. I threw some clothes on and prepared to take him outside. I opened the door to our flat and he followed me out into the close. When I got to the front door (he had dream-morphed into something the size of a seagull by this time), he refused to go out so I grabbed him by the beak and carried him. For reasons unknown, there were lots of workmen in the front garden and there I was, ill-dressed and dangling a large bird by the beak. I thought that if I just threw him into the air, he would get the idea and just fly. I threw him, he thudded to the ground, got up and shook his head and then started to try and come back inside. I grabbed him and threw him again. Same deal and all the while the workmen were laughing and blatantly not helping. I threw him one last time and made my own bid for the door, slamming it shut behind me. I realised then that I still had the rest of the birds in the kitchen to deal with and my heart just sank. Thankfully I then woke up before I could fail any harder.

I hate dreams like that. I woke from it feeling stressed and distressed and frankly a little sick. It seems to me that it's an anxiety dream (which would totally make sense) but I would rather sleep be my refuge in times of stress. Ick to all that.

Sunday 12 June 2011

What I have done this weekend

1) I have eaten too much, far too much. We went out for dinner on Friday night and I had a vegetarian Indian Thali. The portion was too large of course but put a bowl of dhal in front of me and I will hoover that baby right up and later discomfort be damned. I also had some raspberry and rhubarb frangipane tart which was fab. Today I made a massive vat of veggie chilli. It's super tasty and ostensibly meant to do us for dinners during the week. In reality, I have taste-tested it every time I've walked past the cooker so there's probably not too much left. I have also rediscovered the simple joys of the humble chocolate digestive :) I'm happy to eat indulgently once in a while so long as I enjoy it. There's nothing worse than deciding to have a foody treat and then have it be disappointing (yes, last Saturday's iced gingerbread, I am talking about you).
2) I watched a few films: Black Swan, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and The Crow. I've seen them all before, many times in the case of The Crow. Mindless viewing was the name of the game because ...
3) I've finally been cracking on with some knitting and crochet projects that I've had on the go for a while. I manage to finish commissions within a decent time scale but things I'm making for myself or for the house tend to fall by the wayside a bit. Lately I've been putting films on in the evening and doing circuits while watching them so it felt a bit odd to be there in my recliner, needles and yarn in hand instead of on the floor, exercising away. It felt good though. I'm working on something which, were I bit grander, I would call art. I really like a lot of Teesha Moore's stuff. There's a textural quality that really appeals to me and that's definitely an influence on what I'm doing now.
4) Lastly, I overcame the urge to do something really petty. I may even have managed to be magnanimous insteadBut I cannot lie, the bitch within was not easy to tame and she may pop up again sooner rather than later 

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Mojo dojo

I have been running again :) I'd really let it slip by the wayside while waiting for my back injury to heal. Well, my back has been better for a while now and it occurred to me last week that I spend way more time chatting it up on the running forum than I do actually running. Not good.

The desire to get back into running properly was closely followed by us managing to get cheap flights for a few days away. We are off to Gothenburg two weeks today! The wee man wants to go swimming in the sea. I checked it out and some of the islands in the archipelago have beaches and are safe for swimming :) I'm so excited. It's been a mighty long time since I last swam in the sea (was probably St Andrews May Day Dip in 1997 - cold was not the word!). It does however mean that my sturdy Scottish self is going to be seen half naked in amongst lots of beautiful blond Swedish people. If that's not an incentive to get bikini ready then I'm not sure what is.

No major weight loss required - just a bit of fine tuning and for me that always starts with getting in those miles and making sure that I fit in a good swim session or two as well as my usual gym work outs. Getting back to running after a bit of a lay off is always a nice experience. You get that "Whee! Look! I can still do this!" feeling and the novelty of doing longer runs again overcomes any doubts that I have. I'm always scared that I'll somehow lose the knack but that's yet to happen.

Once I've got myself whipped into what I consider decent shape, I'll put a new profile pic up. That's incentive part two. In the mean time, it's sunspots. I think they're pretty.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Want vs Need: Part 2

I was going to reference Of Mice and Men at this point but really it's more Of Plonkers and Men (or merely Men who are Plonkers). Nowhere is my struggle to separate what I want from what I need more evident than in the men I have chosen to date/live with/spawn with.

The men that I want are, by and large, completely unsuitable. I don't deliberately go after bad boys but I certainly seem (on a subconscious level) to like them to be a bit inconsiderate or at least possessed of the kind of flaw which you could write a Greek tragedy around.

I had the occasional boyfriend at high school but nothing serious. My first proper grown up boyfriend was called Paul. He looked like a cross between Jesus and one of the BeeGees (possibly Barry, if he is one. Not Robin anyway and that's the main thing). I was 17, he was roughly double my age. He was artistic, musical, creative ... he was also unemployed and something of an alcoholic. Luckily I had a place at a university in a town on the east coast and made good my escape.

I remember my very first night in the halls of residence. All us freshers were herded into groups and the enforced socialisation began! That evening I acquired three suitors, two of whom were nice boys and one of whom was an arrogant shit. I think we can guess who I chose in the end. Reader, he broke my heart. Eventually I recovered and a new man caught my eye. Again, he was older and I thought I didn't stand a chance with him but apparently I did. We were together for 5 years and I don't think that I have ever loved anyone the way that I loved him.  They say opposites attract and that may well be true - it doesn't mean that they'll be able to stay together though. I realised that I couldn't spend the rest of my days with a man who was, amongst other things, a capitalist. I was far too much of a lefty hippy for him. Breaking up was the right thing to do, of that I have no doubt, but it hurt like no other.

The other men in my life seem to fall into two camps - the psychotic and the utterly banal. I am a sucker for the under dog but tire quickly of those with negative attitudes. I don't require my partner to have an awesome physique but I am ultimately intolerant of laziness or a lack of get up and go. I thought maybe my expectations were too high so I dated outside of what I would usually go for. There was the pilot with the porsche - sorry but fancy cars, big houses and other big things cannot make up for the fact that you are boring. Money does not impress me. I dated a car mechanic who was very nice. We liked lots of the same things but there was just no spark. Worse yet, he seemed unaware that there was no spark (despite the fact that I fell asleep the first time he kissed me. Yes, during). I retired from the dating scene since it appeared that I was not yet ready to settle.

(This section is currently undergoing some reconstruction and will be back shortly)


I can't envisage being alone for the rest of my life but I have realised that I do not trust my judgement.  When it comes to men, I don't know what's best for me or what I really need. Things are going to be kept on a strictly casual basis from now on. By and large that's fine ... except that it means that I won't be going anywhere near the lovely Mr Bear after all. He wants more than casual and I'm not prepared to go there at the moment.

In the mean time, I will continue on the path of fitness. It has never let me down :)

I think I have my running mojo back this week but more about that tomorrow.

Night all x

Monday 6 June 2011

Dolly mixture

Life is all about balance, a constant quest to find equilibrium. To honour that, and to offset the serious nature of the last post, what follows is utterly trivial :)

Knicker making continues! There is still not enough sunlight to take decent photos but if summer ever arrives, my pants will be gracing this here page. Don't worry, I won't be modelling. This page is definitely worth a look for those of you who might like a bit of sewing ... especially those with a thing for Japanese needlecrafts ;) http://panty.hanty.net/  She's got quite a few styles so something there for everyone I think. It's proving to be a good project for me - they're small enough for that quick gratification element that I like and I can make them as fancy and shiny as I like which satisfies my inner magpie. Anyway, you can never have enough pants.

Speaking of shiny, I have painted my nails a rather charming irridescent jade green. Makes them look like the carapace of a particularly exotic beetle. Is it weird that I like the way it looks when I've got my pretty nails wrapped round a big dumbbell? I think it's an image that sums me up quite well.

I ignored the big black clouds overhead this morning and went for a 10K run. This is my longest run for a few weeks I think. The lurgy kept me from running much at all and, as I locked up the house this morning and set off, I found that I was actually nervous! I'm planning to ramp my miles back up so I have no interest in speed at the moment. I really just need to put in time on my feet. I headed off at what I like to think of as my "tracking Urukhai across the plain" pace - slow and steady, you cover the ground with minimal damage to your energy reserves. I ran up to the Pollok estate. Glasgow, for all it's barbed wire and concrete, has a lot of parks - it is the "dear green place" after all - and Pollok is only two miles from my house. There's a river and woods, fields and Highland cattle. You could almost believe you weren't in the city ... if it wasn't for the numbers of other runners all trying for the same wee bit of escapism. Did a loop round the north woods and then headed for home. 6.4miles in 56m 29 - that'll do.

When I got back, I decided to try my new protein powder. I sometimes struggle a bit with my protein intake. I was vegetarian for many years and have been eating meat again for less than a year. It's not my favourite thing to eat but I feel so much better for it physically. Protein powders are pretty popular among those who weight train but I have always struggled with the fact that they just taste incredibly synthetic. It seems though that I have finally found one that I can stomach :) It's whey protein and it's chocolate mint flavour. For a post-workout recovery drink, I just mix it with water rather than milk and it tastes pretty much like a mint Aero. That I can totally handle.

Last night, I watched 300. I've had it kicking about the house for ages but have never managed to watch it. I think it's because Gerard Butler's in it. I find it laughable that he's always billed as some kind of sexy lothario because he's very much your typical central Scotsman. Hollywood hunk or just another eejit from Paisley? Always the latter in my mind. I thought I would give it a go though since there's plenty of muscle in it. Turns out that Michael Fassbender is in it. I think I might quite like him. He's got the icy blue eyes, ruggedness and awesome facial planes of Mads Mikkelsen or Viggo Mortensen. Me likey :) Between that and X-Men: First Class, it's been a fassbending week so far - may it continue. I checked out IMDB and it turns out that he played Rochester in Jane Eyre - really, could he press any more of my buttons?

In other news, I have a bruise on my head from hitting on the door frame during an over-exuberant pull up. That's just how I roll.

Saturday 4 June 2011

Want vs Need: Part 1

The Knickernator has got me thinking. When it comes to my health goals, I am absolutely clear about what I want. I set targets and goals, I research the best way to achieve them and, most amazingly, I get out there and do it. Why then can I not think so clearly about the other things in my life? It comes down to this: what I want is not always what I need. When it comes to exercise, I'm better at recognising which is which. I haven't yet learned how to do that with men (see part 2 for illustration)

I wanted to run (arthritic knees and all) and I have. Longest race to date is a half marathon. I might look at doing an ultra in the future (for I have a desire to do something epic) but for now, I'm focussed more on other things and just pleased to still be running regularly.

Strength training was something that floated in and out of my consciousness for years before I finally delved into it properly. I remember (probably around 2003) finding a book about strength training for women in a bargain bin, taking it home and looking at it. I remember thinking to myself how alien it all was and being a bit shocked at how muscular the models were in all the photographs. I then proceeded to casually faff about with purple dumbells (2kg!) and then consigned the book to the darker realms of the bookshelves. I found that book recently. I flicked through it and thought to myself that there was nothing there that I didn't know ... and I was shocked at how puny the models looked! Out of the three models, only one had noticeable definition. The other two just looked thin to me. This really brought home to me how much I needed strength training in my life. The body I want now is a strong body. The body I used to try and achieve was nothing so useful.

Eight years ago, when I first came across that book, I was underweight. After my son was born, it took me a while to get rid of the baby weight. Even once the excess was gone, I kept losing for a little while. I really struggled with my pregnancy body and I was relieved not to be big any more. I think of my body as a reflection of my inner self so seeing myself pregnant was like looking in the mirror and seeing someone else looking back at me. I had it in my head that once my son was born my body would go back to normal (yes, really) so when I looked down and saw what my body was like? I was devastated and I knew then that it was never going to be what it once was and so began the weight loss. If I had to have a horrible body then the less of it there was the better. Tie this in with a large whack of post-natal depression and what you end up with is the desire to keep getting smaller and smaller till you reach the point where you eventually just wink out of existence.

The PND went but still I couldn't shake the feeling that I would somehow be a better person if I was thinner (I think it was the malnourishment talking there!) It's not like having a problem with over-eating where you can go on for a long long time till you reach the end game. Under-eating is a finite affair - you can only get so small. By the time I finally managed to throw the brake lever, I was wearing kids clothes, had bones jutting out and had to sleep with a pillow between my knees because it hurt to have my bones rest on each other. I had heart palpitations and fainting was a regular occurrence. All that and I still felt worthless. There had to be a better way to try and attain some self worth. I have a child so I don't get to opt out of existence. I am here on this planet to take care of him and by extension I need to take care of myself. Lesson learned and I have no plans to ever say hello to my sternum again.

And so began the quest to make my body something useful. I like being strong. I like the way it makes my body look and feel. This might sound ridiculous but I envision the strength in my muscles as a source of light, each rep charging it up and making it glow brighter. I finish my workouts looking the little glowing dude in the old Ready Brek adverts :) It's a much happier way to be. I find that I don't mind that I'm not skinny anymore. I was never naked if I could help it when I was thin. These days, I strip off all the time. If I'm home alone then the kit is most definitely off! I even do my pull ups in my underwear. I have my pull up bar in my bedroom doorway and there is a mirror opposite it. I'm not hanging there worrying about the size of my thighs - I'm checking all my muscles working as I pull myself up and lower slowly down ... and it looks freaking awesome! I think my head has not quite caught up with my body yet. It's like looking at someone else but I like the way this person looks. When I finally get it into my head that it is really me, I'm going to be one happy lady.

Of course, the most worked out part of me is the one that spews words out and this has gotten lengthier than I intended. You will notice that this does tend to happen. I have more to say about wants vs needs, specifically why it might explain my colourful love life. That'll be part 2 I guess (and, help us all, it may well be even longer than this one)

Friday 3 June 2011

I have another post in the offing that I started but just can't seem to get finished. It just keeps growing! It seems that I have rather a lot to say on the subject of my mind-body relationship. That the two are so intertwined is both a blessing and a curse. It's part of why strength training is so important to me. I'm not the most confident of people and I've found that I love the huge boost I get just from being able to do physical stuff. Anyway, these are the sort of thoughts I've had swimming about in my head for the past few days and I'm going to channel it into how I plan my training schedule for next week.

Body-wise, I'm not in peak condition right now but I'm getting to the point where I can see that I'm not too far off it. Mentally, it's been a really tiring week and I could do with something to perk me up. With this in mind, today's training was a nice combination of fun and relaxation. I did a Zumba class with my favourite instructor, Lorraine. Usually I avoid classes (they tend to be very pink and safe and female friendly to the point of utter patronisation). This class is different though; some Zumba instructors keep things very tight on the footwork, making things less than fun for those of us who are not proper dancers. Lorraine, however, does a nicely high impact class where you dance exactly the way you would if you were just poncing about at home in your pants. How good is that? Am beginning to suspect that really I most enjoy the fact that she is both strong and also silly. It's a combination that I like ;)

I went for a swim afterwards. Is there anything better than a nice refreshing swim on a hot day? Don't think so. I did also manage to squeeze in a run - my first of the week. It was really nice to be running on fresh legs for a change, though it does make my gait rather more Tigger-like. I boinged my way round my 5K loop in 24 mins flat. I sweated because it was still hot but the pace felt really easy. I'm not the fastest so I'm pleased with that.

I also spent a bit of time trying out some new (to me) moves that I might try and incorporate into next week's training. Favourites so far are the Turkish Get Up (harder than it looks!) and the Cuban Press (because we know that I do love to work my shoulders).

Of course, I am still plugging away with my chin ups. I have callouses on both hands from doing them! It's bizarre. At the starting point, I could do nothing more than just dangle from the bar. I grunted and strained my way into being able to do a few but still felt like I wasn't really getting it and then about a week ago, I took hold of the bar, squeezed and just found myself rising through the air until my chin was a couple of inches above the bar. It wasn't a fluke, I can actually do them! It just requires a bit of focus.

It's only three weeks till the school holidays start. I will be hoping for good weather, mostly so I can take Logan to the park, set my inner asshole free and do lots of show-offy chin ups to the envy of all ;)

Thursday 2 June 2011

Interim

There is a proper post in the works but in the mean time, there is this!

There has been movement on the commenting problem. Now not only can I not comment on other people's blogs, I also am unable to respond to comments on my own :(

Blogger, you are not encouraging me to use you!

For what it's worth, this is what I had to say about the last post:

Thanks Marion. Things are never quite as straightforward as they should be but I am persevering.
Couldn't agree more about the baby books :)

Yay, the power of The Knickernator (I'm saying that in my best theatrical trailer voice over voice) has prevailed! I did the whole Tae Bo dvd which led to me seeing Billy in a rather tight-fitting outfit I had not seen before. Very nice quads ... but strangely Action Man like in the knicker region ;) Boy's got a damn good tuck game if he can keep it in while kicking! I imagine they had to make sure it was all neat and tidy so as not to offend. While I have no desire whatsoever to see Billy's junk, the complete and utter absence of it (the anti-junk if you will) was most disconcerting.

Still hoping for a quick resolution and then I can get following folks and soon become an unstoppable force of blogging greatness ;)

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Lady in Waiting ...

... in which the term 'lady' is used loosely (since it refers only to my good self)

I've been a good girl lately in terms of not ordering things online. I have a nasty habit of popping onto ebay and just splurging. Not doing it is a good thing (as I'm sure my bank manager would agree). However, it does mean that I've gotten out of the whole delivery process loop. I did order something at the weekend. What was I thinking? Ordering on a bank holiday was not a clever idea. It means that I have no idea when the silly thing will arrive. It was allegedly despatched on Monday and should have been here yesterday. It did not arrive and I am now faced with Day 2 of waiting for my goods. I had forgotten how much the whole process irks me.

I know it is my thing and I'm the one that wanted it but damned if I don't feel put out about having to wait in my house for it! I want to go swimming or go for a run. I do not want to sit around waiting for the door buzzer of doom to sound (it is seriously the most horrific sounding buzzer in the world - think chainsaw running down your spine but at mega volume). Waiting triggers anxiety in me. I can't relax, I feel like I can't really do anything until the delivery has been made ... and this even includes things like going to the bathroom. You can see why it's a difficult business! I will do my best to get on and be productive because logically I know that the world will not end if the delivery man sees me in my workout gear or, god forbid, has to wait an extra few seconds on the doorstep because I've bravely gone to the bathroom. But next time I am only ordering things which will definitely fit through the letter box!

In any case, today's workout will have to be an indoor affair. I'm thinking I might go a bit retro and break out the old Taebo dvd! I know it's not fashionable these days but I was always very fond of good old Billy. I'll break a sweat but still have plenty of energy left for my proper gym session this evening. And truthfully, it's about as much as I feel I can manage right now. I woke up this morning with a chocolate hangover and it does not feel good :( I only tend to eat chocolate maybe once a month but I think I'm just going to cut it out altogether. I can only liken how it is now to smoking cigarettes. I used to smoke. I remember the whole head-swimming, heart pounding, pulse racing sensation of my first cigarette. The more you smoke, the less you experience that. Similarly, when I ate chocolate frequently, I didn't really notice the effects (other than it's contribution to the girth of my thighs). Now that I rarely have it, I definitely notice it having an impact. It still tastes pretty good but it gives me instant heartburn and leaves me feeling headachey and crap. I think on treat days I will stick to cake from now on - sponge, marzipan and icing have yet to give me anything but joy.

The other in-house activity I need to catch up on is my sewing. I want to make a book for my best friend's youngest baba. I've been sketching out pictures and I've started sewing some of the pages. I would happily embroider it all because pretty little stitches make me happy but in the hopes of getting it completed before baby's 21st birthday, it's mostly going to be applique with the odd embroidered bit here and there. I also have knickers to complete! I've got a few pairs finished and I keep hoping for some actual sunlight so I can take photos. Alas, Glasgow has been resolutely grey for weeks.

Final note: I'm having one or two teething troubles with Blogger, specifically I can't seem to comment on either my blog or anyone elses. They are aware of the issue but it's not yet been resolved. Hopefully it will be soon - unless it's all a conspiracy to keep me quiet ...