Brought to you by the letter P

There are lots of Ps to counteract my Ds. Positive, present, pfabulous (silent p there, oh yes - hons in Language, don't argue)

The thing is, I think. A lot. Sometimes those thoughts need to be purged. Sometimes I do that here. It's not a pity party, it's just me getting my shit in order so I can move on to the next thing, often a more important thing as it happens.

So the important things in my world this week are pull strength and pillions.

I am still continuing with the triathlon training - essentially my cardio workouts will continue to be a mix of running, biking (spinning mostly) and swimming but we don't just do cardio, do we? Oh hell no. I love my strength training ... but I'm shifting the focus slightly.

When I was younger, I did a fair amount of climbing. Somewhere along the way, that tailed off. I went maybe once or twice last year but that's about it. Part of it is a confidence thing - it takes cojones to get yourself up there, no two ways about it. The other part of it is trust. I need to be able to trust the dude on the other end of the rope with my life. I have only ever really climbed successfully with a couple of partners (an ex and my best friend) but it seems that I have now come across someone else I can trust ... and it feels like I've been brought back to life. I can't quite believe I'm climbing again! It's like trying on the jeans you wore when you were 18 and finding they still fit - and that they suit you better than anything else ever did. But, being me, I find myself thinking about power to weight ratios and should I lose a few more pounds for easy handling (I don't think so - I suspect I am fairly dinky just now but I never really know). In any case, pull strength needs to be worked on. I fear there may be Frenchies in my future (if you don't know what they are, google them ... and weep!) I don't entirely look like a climber. My new fella ... he totally does (which, I'm not going to lie, is quite exciting - I really like that lean, sinewy thing). Forearms to die for is my final word on that subject. Whee! :D

So yes, upper body strength needs to worked on. As a woman, I'm aware that my upper body strength is well above average but I can always work on increasing it and, more importantly, honing it to the task at hand. There will be press ups in various positions and my grip strength also needs some work. I have arthritis in both my hands which will make things more difficult but I'm a big believer in doing the best with what you've got. Crapulous joints or not, I have a lot more mobility and strength than I used to and I earned it.

The other P that has been on my mind is pillion, also known as "riding bitch". I have recently been reintroduced to the joys, terrors and cold numb bottom of motorbikes. I had completely forgotten what it was like ... and a part of me feels a little guilty for even doing it. It is not terribly safe. Even in with leathers, gloves, helmet and with a safe rider in front of you, you are at the mercy of other road users and the elements. But sweet baby Jesus is it exhilarating! You feel incredibly exposed but at the same time, completely at one with your rider, the machine, the road. It's a weird and awesome and almost terrible sense of connection. It's an odd one for me: they say no man is an island. Well, 98% of the time this woman is. I felt exceptionally at odds with myself getting up there. I may possibly (haha!) have a few control freakish tendencies so putting myself completely in someone else's care was a tricky thing. It speaks volumes about the man himself really that I was willing to give it a go in the first place.

This may sound awful but I have never hankered after a run of the mill sort of guy. I don't want someone who's idea of a good time is getting pissed while watching the football and then buying me crappy flowers from the all night garage on the way home before staggering into the bedroom thinking he's bloody Elvis. That won't do. Sweet but dim also doesn't cut it (sexy or not) and I tried my best with Mr I'm a Pilot I Fly a Big Plane and Drive a Porsche but fast machines do not make up for a lack of personality. I need someone thoughtful, somewhat eloquent, someone with a brain that he knows how to utilise. There needs to be mutual thought provocation and support. I can't be with someone who will ultimately bore the crap out of me and let's face it, thinking someone is 'fit' is just the barest step on the road to real attraction and satisfaction. Some of the people who I have initially been most attracted to physically have become almost repulsive to me once their true personalities have come to the fore. Others have just bored me because there was nothing of interest beyond a nice set of guns. I've got a set of those, I don't need anyone else's unless they come as part of a grander package.

It's early days for me and the new man-meat (don't worry, he won't mind that objectification) but I'm happy enough to see how things go. Quite apart from anything else, he has been there to support me through some really tough stuff in the past week. I know it wasn't easy for him to be there holding my hand through the worst of it. Clearing up other people's messes is never easy (your own are bad enough, right?) and I don't know that I would have behaved quite so admirably if our positions had been reversed.  And he doesn't bring me crappy garage flowers - he sneaked me some eidelweiss from an Alpine pass instead. I think he kind of rocks, just a little bit :)